Spanglish

So I stayed up 'till 2:30 AM last night. I had gone to bed, but I was uneasy, so I got up and ordered the movie Spanglish. I wanted to see it because M had said that she was very disappointed in the finish. I wanted to see, besides, I am a big fan of Adam Sandler. So, I watched it. It affected me.

 

It may not be a movie for everyone, but it certainly was the movie for me last-night.

 

The ending (warning - spoiler ahead), well, I related to it. It expressed how I feel so often. As I went to sleep, and woke up this morning, I realized that I may not be able to put "why" into words. It just hits on so many levels. I understand the decisions at the end, leaving a love that would be perfect for me, but not right for anyone else. The apparent sacrifice of that love, for the well being of everyone involved.

 

God, I wish I had the mental agility to describe what I mean. As I write this, I am freezing up, knowing that some where, at some time, someone I want to love will read this. I don't want them to think that I am settling for them. But they may. The truth is, all of those "love" experiences are so much more perfect because they were never tested by "real life." They remain ideal because, had I followed that road, life would have scarred and spoiled that ideal. Things never work out as we dream they will.

 

Maybe "love" is a gift that appears for a season, and then goes into hiding. Maybe, if we leave the love when it is the purist, it will always be pure, spoiled only by the leaving. Maybe the love I describe is only the mystical ideal propagated in songs and movies. Real love is an act of your will.

 

Spanglish was a love story. It was about the love that a parent has for their child. It is about how to love your child - how to protect them - how to bring them up.

 

It may be a movie that I will have to purchase. Obviously, my thoughts on it are choppy (at best). Maybe I can revisit this post and make it understandable and readable.....