Motivation game

Most days I wandered around looking for motivation.

Motivation is a curious thing. For most of my life, it has been like a game and a riddle. As a game, I was always trying to win, then I felt like a failure when I inevitably lost. As a riddle, motivation's wellspring has been an enigma.

There were a few things that have motivated me consistently. They drove me to wonderful heights and more than a few spectacularly infamous falls. The falls proved to me that what I clung to for motivation was not sufficient nor ones that I could trust.

As of today, I find myself well into a new level of interaction... with me. The game is getting good now. Before it just seemed unfair. Now, by God's grace, I have won a few rounds. More than that, I have learned enough that it is time that I share. Sharing it will drive the lessons home to me, and hopefully, bless a few of you.

Welcome back.

Upcoming topics: Grace, Love, Redemption, The elephant of the subconscious, Voices that are not us, Letting Go, Exercise, Anxiety, Depression, Safety,



Sometimes I just don't want to be judged.

Sometimes being public or transparent invites people to judge. Sometimes asking for advice becomes asking people to judge.

I have watched people use information they glean (from reliable sources) unfairly for their own means, making cannon fodder of my life to strike their target.

Yet they never expose themselves.

It is easy to take pot shots at transparent people.
And when it's done, it is like touching them in a perverse way.

One thing I have found true, what they notice in me is also what they struggle with, silently, in themselves. Especially if they wax eloquent about what they discover.

Oh, "they" have their reasons and their perspective, which could have been appreciated and valuable, if they had shared with love. But they attacked.

It makes me want to attack back.

I say all this because I have done what they do. I am what I hate in them. And it humbles me to see it. And it makes me pause before I jump into the fray with my limited-perspective and vengeful-judgement.

Does being humble help? Humility may mean introspectively pausing and withholding my response. But being humble doesn't negate the pain they cause. So me being humble helps them.

Did you ever make a really good point and the person dismissed it saying you were just attacking them? Have you ever dismissed a really good point saying the person sharing was just attacking you?

Case-in-point: You see, like it or not, I judge the actions of those in my girlfriend's life. It seems crazy to me what they do. I get physically ill at the thought that these people have an influence on her, and by extension me. Some are exposed to me and I am not exposed to them. Other's hide and take shots from afar. In either case, I turn up the heat on H (the girlfriend) trying to get her to act toward them as I imagine she should. But that very action creates just as much of the thing I don't like: undue pressure on H.

You see, there is a lie stuck in H's mind and I am trying to prevent the evil it creates. It is a common lie. It makes a negative opinion into a pin-in-her-eyeball. But the lie affects me as well, and the result has been that i have withdrawn from being transparent.

So I find myself in a predicament.

How do you stop this type of evil?
Is it a matter of maturity?
How do you stop it with Love?
Is being secretive the best response? Is it a good temporary solution?
How do you coach someone to be assertive for themselves without becoming a different but still injuring pressure?

The way must be something other way than the visceral fight in me desiring to explode.

(I am quiet because I am afraid of what me saying something will do)



By Lone McCord

Acceptance. It is a cheep thing to give. Or perhaps I should say, it is an inexpensive thing to give. But it is the thing that so many people are craving, even if they don't admit it, even if they pretend it isn't important to them, even if they reject you. 

But it is still so inexpensive to give.

 Maybe we were made to experience the feeling of acceptance, and the lack of it has created all sorts of holes in us that we have creatively filled or protected.What if, by giving it, we can heal them? ...Even if it is only by a little bit.

Interesting. I just tried to write about this, and I kept on coming up with objections: things that I wanted to explain so that you would try this out. I have a huge map of reasons to be careful and reasons we shouldn't. But I can't get away from the fact that God accepted us in our fallen state and if we reflect him well, then we should do the same.

Or perhaps something inside of you doesn't quite buy that logic. That's ok. That something inside will never be changed by logic or reason or other's superstitions. But it can be changed by experience.

So let's go create some interesting new experiences. Let us try this out and watch how that someone responds to the healing touch of acceptance. See something in them that you can accept, and accept that. 

I would love to hear about it, even if you see it as a failure.



Around the bend
With an ear to the ground
I prepare to sneak back
To this public compound

Compounded by judgement,
Assumptions and spite,
There are so many things
People do instead of fight.

Why not face the fact
That you can never know me
Just as I have see
I can never know thee.

There are always bendable facts
and scandalous wishes,
Personality flaws
and unapproved kisses.

I'll reveal my imperfection
If only you promise
You will see by reflection
The you that is honest.


To Love is to Lead

Have you ever heard of the person who wanted to be in control. They want to show how it is done. They want to make a difference.

Sometimes they collect pieces of truth to help them. Or they make statements of need. "Let's leave no stone unturned" "Divorce is bad" "don"t talk with your mouth full" "Don't be passionate before marriage" "don't eat carbs" "be a home owner" "Obey the rules" "You promised..." "you don't think"

Well, that is what I do (hopefully less than all of you ;).

Its wrong.

It ends up empty


Because our Posture is more important than our Principles (that made me mad the first time I heard it).

No wonder God is interested in what is in our heart. (what does that mean?)

Some of the great debates in Jesus' ministry years were with a group called the Pharisees. They had all the principals down. They could tell you everything you needed to do in order to do it right... to be a leader.

To them, if you were to lead, you had to do it more right than everyone else. Which meant you had to learn and study and apply yourself and CHANGE and .....

But the God-man, Jesus, thwarted them at ever turn. Turning their logic in on itself.

Not just by being more right (Performance)

But by being right in ways they had never measured themselves.

He showed love first.

Its what we are to do.

What is love?


Lord, pick up the pieces....

I feel like I have lost control.

It is a good thing.

It doesn't mean I like it.

It angers me. It scares me. It makes me vulnerable.

See, control is what I have when I don't do anything (inaction is control). Control is also trying to cling to something that isn't there or isn't mine.

See, truthfully, nothing is ours. It is all God's. For me, I must see the love's of my life (My son, my family, a girl) with that understanding. They are all His. But it extends to my work, my life, my time, and my money. When things go "wrong", what I really mean is, things have gone in a direction that is beyond my control.

I tend to take it personally, as though I have measure of control. But the truth is, I never had any control.

So what does one do in a situation like this. (I dare say, a situation we all are in)

I pray for God's will to be done, and do "the best that I can" in the moment I am in. Even if it seems to mess things up. I must do the best that I can and let the chips fall where they may. I trust God, he will make this all work together for our good. Inaction is faithlessness.

God. Direct my paths. Let me cling steadfastly to you. Show me how to reflect, with Boldness, your love and kindness and mercy and grace so that you can do your work. Hedge me in so that I don't go beyond your will. Allow me to be an active reflection of you... into the lives of these that I love......oh, and into the lives of those so hard to love. You love them too, even though I do not. So If I reflect you, instead of me, then they will see your love, not mine. Well, your love is better than mine anyway. You are in control. Your will be done.

Lord, by acting, by doing things, I shed my control of inaction. I don't feel prepared enough. I often don't feel I have the right words to say. I don't feel I have what it takes. The mistakes I make are embarrassing. But I know that by being passive, I am actually being willfully-inactive: Willfully controlling life to a safe standstill. Being inactive is not putting my trust in you. Lord, help my unbelief.

Lord, I give you my mind's eye. With it, I see only a world without you or with me controlling your providence.

I give it all up to you. I will go and act and even appear to fail... massively fail - Lord, please pick up the pieces of the mess I am about to make. Please make it work together for good, even if I appear ridiculously foolish.

Lord, I pour myself out for you.


The Morn' of a new day

Being challenged to grow is not the point.

Allowing myself to grow is.

I am discovering a few key responses that are allowing growth in me.... for which I can take no credit.

To begin with, I need to trust God. This isn't a small point. It is essential. Why? Because my response to him determines the quality of everything that follows. You'll see, He is actually trust WORTHY. And even though I question it daily, it is proven by his persistence and wisdom.

Trusting God does not mean trusting people who claim to know what he is doing. No matter how great the Saint, they cannot know how I should respond to the circumstances I find myself in. They don't know why I am here. They can't know. They can only be a poser and pretend they know. No poser can compare to Him. You will know the poser, they try to define the path without taking you to God and letting Him define it for you. No poser can define the path He has for you. Trust only His voice. (If you don't know how to hear it, you have a wonderful discovery awaiting you. Walk with someone who does listen. They can show you. You can tell who they are, because they are not a poser.)

We live in a very noisy world. That noise is "the ton of things screaming for your attention." Its as though I have to adjust the frequency that I am tuned into, otherwise what is available for me to learn is drowned out. One of the loudest noises is my own inner voice. The things we say to ourselves determines the direction of the changes our circumstances are inspiring in us. Who is controlling your voice? Me, I have had to shut mine up. I say the damnedest things to myself.

So now that I am quiet, and listening to a trustworthy source, in spite of the swarm of circumstances, I begin to see a simple path of action that seems to have no clear destination... except that it is the right thing to do. That is the path of actions that I have to take. That is the one that will produce changes in me. It is the 'road less traveled." It requires that I turn off the "picture show" of worry and doubt and self-determination. It requires that I shush the leaders who would control me, and not lead me to God. It requires that I depend on only God. Crazy? Maybe. But no more crazy than thinking you can control and manipulate and foresee the journey that your life is going to take.

What has happened? The most wonderful and unexpected things. Unfettered from myself and the noise (even the "Holy" noise), I am free to act, learn, and grow. Life isn't a formula, it is a response to whom you are listening to. Fix where you are getting your promptings, and you see the fruit you seek. The end of this path is far more rewarding than where the others end up. Here is a hint, they never end up where they promise....Ever. On this path, circumstances are now producing growth, in spite of the heart ache and turmoil. Life's next challenge becomes another chance for me to see how God will respond. It's exciting, because it is never the same way twice.

I remember the greatest commandments. Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and love your neighbors as yourself." Everything falls into place inside me when I do, even though the noise surrounding my circumstances are screaming something different. That noise is getting a new name from me: foul-fruited lies.

Finding this peace may not change your circumstances, but it will change you.

"Lord Bless Them, and change me."


Do you have what it takes?

For a man, the most haunting question of our lives is, "Do you have what it takes?" It is a question that stings us when used as a whip and exhilarates us when issued as a challenge.

Do you have what it takes?

I can tell you that I do not. I am easily crushed by life's challenges. When things begin to go bad, I retreat deep inside myself and say, "I guess it was never meant to be." You see, I am a broken man. The losses of my life are piled high enough for all to see and discuss.

Oh, but I am being changed though.

I am watching God take the wreck of my life and 'rebuild it into something new. I am lucky. I have discovered that my dreams and plans are not what life will give me. I am lucky because I have been broken.

Now I willing to listen.

I have discovered something. I have discovered that I have a God who will take the shards of my life and make a spectacular mosaic out of it. Through him, through the sacrifice of his Son, through placing my trust in him, I can dare to embrace the adventure before me. I am watching him take my deepest failings and create something in me that is amazing for me to behold. I could never have imagined what I am seeing. It isn't me, but he that is in me, that is coming through. He has what it takes. And I am the luckiest guy in the world. I have given up. Now I am thrilled to see the power of the master's hand.

The promises are taking on a new meaning. "He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world..." "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and he will direct your paths" " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." When I was younger, I saw these words as challenges that I had to live up to. But now, they are promises that are allowing me to release my struggle and rest, as I act on his promptings.

Yes Love, I do love you.

Life's adventure has brought us here. If you take my hand, then you will see what God has in store. If you don't, then God will bless you on your own journey. God has used you mightily in my life. Your touch has given me life and hope and a purpose. This time of fasting has made me see that it was God, through you, that was doing this miracle in my life. I am captivated by what is happening. Excited to take the next step because of who I have at my side. Relieved that it isn't my strength I am seeing. Overwhelmed by the Love I feel, I am also confident that I do have what it takes, because I have God.

Blessings and Love,



Are we Growing?

What we struggle with most is what we eventually learn the most about.

Our natural talents don't require repeated review of what we have learned. In them, we are unconsciously competent. But as we become consciouses of our incompetence, humility, willingness to admit imperfection, opens our lives to growth.

I find purpose in working though the difficult areas of my life, learning as I strive to improve and grow. I see my failings as markers that show me what I can expect God to address next in my life. I see my struggles as my teachers. They are shaping me for HIS purpose. That belief feeds my hope, because I trust his words, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jer 29:11
"143 - 7"


The Redemption of Hope, born of love, fed by forgiveness and faith.

Where there is love, there is hope. Where there is forgiveness, love can grow. Faith (trust) gives us the freedom to explore both. Bitterness snuffs out faith. Bitterness comes from a poor memory. We forget what we were forgiven of. We forget that when we love God, and are thus called according to his purposes (faith), that he causes all these things to work together for good. "All" includes the things we are bitter about. "All" includes the things we have yet to forgive. "All" includes what we have done to ourselves. Yes, all things work together for good to those who love God. That faith gives personal purpose to the ups and downs of life's journey.

So, can you let go of your bitterness? Can you forgive...

even yourself?

Faith will let you.

Let go and trust....