Allowing myself to grow is.
I am discovering a few key responses that are allowing growth in me.... for which I can take no credit.To begin with, I need to trust God. This isn't a small point. It is essential. Why? Because my response to him determines the quality of everything that follows. You'll see, He is actually trust WORTHY. And even though I question it daily, it is proven by his persistence and wisdom.
Trusting God does not mean trusting people who claim to know what he is doing. No matter how great the Saint, they cannot know how I should respond to the circumstances I find myself in. They don't know why I am here. They can't know. They can only be a poser and pretend they know. No poser can compare to Him. You will know the poser, they try to define the path without taking you to God and letting Him define it for you. No poser can define the path He has for you. Trust only His voice. (If you don't know how to hear it, you have a wonderful discovery awaiting you. Walk with someone who does listen. They can show you. You can tell who they are, because they are not a poser.)
We live in a very noisy world. That noise is "the ton of things screaming for your attention." Its as though I have to adjust the frequency that I am tuned into, otherwise what is available for me to learn is drowned out. One of the loudest noises is my own inner voice. The things we say to ourselves determines the direction of the changes our circumstances are inspiring in us. Who is controlling your voice? Me, I have had to shut mine up. I say the damnedest things to myself.
So now that I am quiet, and listening to a trustworthy source, in spite of the swarm of circumstances, I begin to see a simple path of action that seems to have no clear destination... except that it is the right thing to do. That is the path of actions that I have to take. That is the one that will produce changes in me. It is the 'road less traveled." It requires that I turn off the "picture show" of worry and doubt and self-determination. It requires that I shush the leaders who would control me, and not lead me to God. It requires that I depend on only God. Crazy? Maybe. But no more crazy than thinking you can control and manipulate and foresee the journey that your life is going to take.
What has happened? The most wonderful and unexpected things. Unfettered from myself and the noise (even the "Holy" noise), I am free to act, learn, and grow. Life isn't a formula, it is a response to whom you are listening to. Fix where you are getting your promptings, and you see the fruit you seek. The end of this path is far more rewarding than where the others end up. Here is a hint, they never end up where they promise....Ever. On this path, circumstances are now producing growth, in spite of the heart ache and turmoil. Life's next challenge becomes another chance for me to see how God will respond. It's exciting, because it is never the same way twice.
I remember the greatest commandments. Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and love your neighbors as yourself." Everything falls into place inside me when I do, even though the noise surrounding my circumstances are screaming something different. That noise is getting a new name from me: foul-fruited lies.
Finding this peace may not change your circumstances, but it will change you.
"Lord Bless Them, and change me."
