To Love is to Lead

Have you ever heard of the person who wanted to be in control. They want to show how it is done. They want to make a difference.

Sometimes they collect pieces of truth to help them. Or they make statements of need. "Let's leave no stone unturned" "Divorce is bad" "don"t talk with your mouth full" "Don't be passionate before marriage" "don't eat carbs" "be a home owner" "Obey the rules" "You promised..." "you don't think"

Well, that is what I do (hopefully less than all of you ;).

Its wrong.

It ends up empty

Why?

Because our Posture is more important than our Principles (that made me mad the first time I heard it).

No wonder God is interested in what is in our heart. (what does that mean?)

Some of the great debates in Jesus' ministry years were with a group called the Pharisees. They had all the principals down. They could tell you everything you needed to do in order to do it right... to be a leader.

To them, if you were to lead, you had to do it more right than everyone else. Which meant you had to learn and study and apply yourself and CHANGE and .....

But the God-man, Jesus, thwarted them at ever turn. Turning their logic in on itself.

Not just by being more right (Performance)

But by being right in ways they had never measured themselves.

He showed love first.

Its what we are to do.

What is love?

Lord, pick up the pieces....

I feel like I have lost control.

It is a good thing.

It doesn't mean I like it.

It angers me. It scares me. It makes me vulnerable.

See, control is what I have when I don't do anything (inaction is control). Control is also trying to cling to something that isn't there or isn't mine.

See, truthfully, nothing is ours. It is all God's. For me, I must see the love's of my life (My son, my family, a girl) with that understanding. They are all His. But it extends to my work, my life, my time, and my money. When things go "wrong", what I really mean is, things have gone in a direction that is beyond my control.

I tend to take it personally, as though I have measure of control. But the truth is, I never had any control.

So what does one do in a situation like this. (I dare say, a situation we all are in)

I pray for God's will to be done, and do "the best that I can" in the moment I am in. Even if it seems to mess things up. I must do the best that I can and let the chips fall where they may. I trust God, he will make this all work together for our good. Inaction is faithlessness.

God. Direct my paths. Let me cling steadfastly to you. Show me how to reflect, with Boldness, your love and kindness and mercy and grace so that you can do your work. Hedge me in so that I don't go beyond your will. Allow me to be an active reflection of you... into the lives of these that I love......oh, and into the lives of those so hard to love. You love them too, even though I do not. So If I reflect you, instead of me, then they will see your love, not mine. Well, your love is better than mine anyway. You are in control. Your will be done.

Lord, by acting, by doing things, I shed my control of inaction. I don't feel prepared enough. I often don't feel I have the right words to say. I don't feel I have what it takes. The mistakes I make are embarrassing. But I know that by being passive, I am actually being willfully-inactive: Willfully controlling life to a safe standstill. Being inactive is not putting my trust in you. Lord, help my unbelief.

Lord, I give you my mind's eye. With it, I see only a world without you or with me controlling your providence.

I give it all up to you. I will go and act and even appear to fail... massively fail - Lord, please pick up the pieces of the mess I am about to make. Please make it work together for good, even if I appear ridiculously foolish.

Lord, I pour myself out for you.

The Morn' of a new day

Being challenged to grow is not the point.

Allowing myself to grow is.

I am discovering a few key responses that are allowing growth in me.... for which I can take no credit.

To begin with, I need to trust God. This isn't a small point. It is essential. Why? Because my response to him determines the quality of everything that follows. You'll see, He is actually trust WORTHY. And even though I question it daily, it is proven by his persistence and wisdom.

Trusting God does not mean trusting people who claim to know what he is doing. No matter how great the Saint, they cannot know how I should respond to the circumstances I find myself in. They don't know why I am here. They can't know. They can only be a poser and pretend they know. No poser can compare to Him. You will know the poser, they try to define the path without taking you to God and letting Him define it for you. No poser can define the path He has for you. Trust only His voice. (If you don't know how to hear it, you have a wonderful discovery awaiting you. Walk with someone who does listen. They can show you. You can tell who they are, because they are not a poser.)

We live in a very noisy world. That noise is "the ton of things screaming for your attention." Its as though I have to adjust the frequency that I am tuned into, otherwise what is available for me to learn is drowned out. One of the loudest noises is my own inner voice. The things we say to ourselves determines the direction of the changes our circumstances are inspiring in us. Who is controlling your voice? Me, I have had to shut mine up. I say the damnedest things to myself.

So now that I am quiet, and listening to a trustworthy source, in spite of the swarm of circumstances, I begin to see a simple path of action that seems to have no clear destination... except that it is the right thing to do. That is the path of actions that I have to take. That is the one that will produce changes in me. It is the 'road less traveled." It requires that I turn off the "picture show" of worry and doubt and self-determination. It requires that I shush the leaders who would control me, and not lead me to God. It requires that I depend on only God. Crazy? Maybe. But no more crazy than thinking you can control and manipulate and foresee the journey that your life is going to take.

What has happened? The most wonderful and unexpected things. Unfettered from myself and the noise (even the "Holy" noise), I am free to act, learn, and grow. Life isn't a formula, it is a response to whom you are listening to. Fix where you are getting your promptings, and you see the fruit you seek. The end of this path is far more rewarding than where the others end up. Here is a hint, they never end up where they promise....Ever. On this path, circumstances are now producing growth, in spite of the heart ache and turmoil. Life's next challenge becomes another chance for me to see how God will respond. It's exciting, because it is never the same way twice.

I remember the greatest commandments. Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and love your neighbors as yourself." Everything falls into place inside me when I do, even though the noise surrounding my circumstances are screaming something different. That noise is getting a new name from me: foul-fruited lies.

Finding this peace may not change your circumstances, but it will change you.

"Lord Bless Them, and change me."

Do you have what it takes?

For a man, the most haunting question of our lives is, "Do you have what it takes?" It is a question that stings us when used as a whip and exhilarates us when issued as a challenge.

Do you have what it takes?

I can tell you that I do not. I am easily crushed by life's challenges. When things begin to go bad, I retreat deep inside myself and say, "I guess it was never meant to be." You see, I am a broken man. The losses of my life are piled high enough for all to see and discuss.

Oh, but I am being changed though.

I am watching God take the wreck of my life and 'rebuild it into something new. I am lucky. I have discovered that my dreams and plans are not what life will give me. I am lucky because I have been broken.

Now I willing to listen.

I have discovered something. I have discovered that I have a God who will take the shards of my life and make a spectacular mosaic out of it. Through him, through the sacrifice of his Son, through placing my trust in him, I can dare to embrace the adventure before me. I am watching him take my deepest failings and create something in me that is amazing for me to behold. I could never have imagined what I am seeing. It isn't me, but he that is in me, that is coming through. He has what it takes. And I am the luckiest guy in the world. I have given up. Now I am thrilled to see the power of the master's hand.

The promises are taking on a new meaning. "He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world..." "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and he will direct your paths" " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." When I was younger, I saw these words as challenges that I had to live up to. But now, they are promises that are allowing me to release my struggle and rest, as I act on his promptings.

Yes Love, I do love you.

Life's adventure has brought us here. If you take my hand, then you will see what God has in store. If you don't, then God will bless you on your own journey. God has used you mightily in my life. Your touch has given me life and hope and a purpose. This time of fasting has made me see that it was God, through you, that was doing this miracle in my life. I am captivated by what is happening. Excited to take the next step because of who I have at my side. Relieved that it isn't my strength I am seeing. Overwhelmed by the Love I feel, I am also confident that I do have what it takes, because I have God.

Blessings and Love,

Lone

Are we Growing?

What we struggle with most is what we eventually learn the most about.

Our natural talents don't require repeated review of what we have learned. In them, we are unconsciously competent. But as we become consciouses of our incompetence, humility, willingness to admit imperfection, opens our lives to growth.

I find purpose in working though the difficult areas of my life, learning as I strive to improve and grow. I see my failings as markers that show me what I can expect God to address next in my life. I see my struggles as my teachers. They are shaping me for HIS purpose. That belief feeds my hope, because I trust his words, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jer 29:11
"143 - 7"

The Redemption of Hope, born of love, fed by forgiveness and faith.

Where there is love, there is hope. Where there is forgiveness, love can grow. Faith (trust) gives us the freedom to explore both. Bitterness snuffs out faith. Bitterness comes from a poor memory. We forget what we were forgiven of. We forget that when we love God, and are thus called according to his purposes (faith), that he causes all these things to work together for good. "All" includes the things we are bitter about. "All" includes the things we have yet to forgive. "All" includes what we have done to ourselves. Yes, all things work together for good to those who love God. That faith gives personal purpose to the ups and downs of life's journey.

So, can you let go of your bitterness? Can you forgive...


even yourself?


Faith will let you.


Let go and trust....

What we own

I have started something new. I started a budget.

It is Dave Ramsey's fault. He actually came up with a budget system that works through the insanity of irregular income. If you have the slightest inclination, immerse yourself in what he teaches.

I won't try to re-teach it.

As I watch my perspective on money change, I realize how universal the truths are that I am learning. I have written about a few of them before, but I never knew how to apply them to money....or truthfully, to moment-by-moment life.

CS Lewis cracked my shell when he wrote that we actually own nothing. He used a child crying out "mine" as an example. No child, it isn't actually yours. You can use if for a time, but it isn't yours. It is all temporary. We experience an illusion of permanence. Saying it is "mine" doesn't acknowledge that you will one day have to let it go.

It goes beyond "things." It extends to relationships, dreams, plans, promises, and life itself. None of it can we keep. It will all come and go... eventually it all becomes dust.

So, with a budget I began to understand the travels that money makes in my life and needs it addresses. Making less money than I have ever made, I have discovered I can somewhat manage the flow of money. Now I am beginning to see what I am putting my faith in. Who's money is it actually?

Well, it isn't mine. If flows in and out of my life ceaselessly. Clinging to it does me no good. Directing its flow shows me whom I am trusting.

Tithing was almost an impossible step for me. But I have started, Now, I see the need of a loved one, and as much as I want to cling to my newly saved funds, I know it isn't mine anyway. I can actually trust God and direct His money to where he sees fit.

It's not mine. I own none of it. And I know he will take care of me, through provisions I cannot imagine to foresee.

BTW - I have some cool stuff for sale!

Standing in our Garbage

Sometimes a higher degree of transparency is a painful thing.

It gives people a chance to judge you. It exposes you to their approval and disapproval. They form an opinion from their limited view into your life. They make vast (incorrect) assumptions, based on their life experiences, about your deepest motives.

It is a small wonder that the bible says, "who can know the heart of man." Who can know another's essence? Who can understand their own?

So, craving the attention and approval of others, we construct a facade portraying whom we want to be.

Ah, to be loved for only who we are. To be loved for our essence. It's the misunderstood-grace afforded us by the "great sacrifice." It is what Jesus expressed as he saved the woman from her stoning. The price has been paid for what other's so gratuitously judge. The price has been paid for the faults we struggle and adjust to hide.

No, the hurts we cause are real. The result of our integrity flaws, pursuits of pleasure, and attempts to numb our unexpressed pain may haunt us as long as we live.

But there is a freedom available: A wonderful gift, accessable continuously and in a moments reflection. We can, in that moment, choose to accept the redemption of the great sacrifice. We can lay those burdens down. We can walk in freedom, despite the our past and the inaccurate/accurate definitions placed on us.

Lord, let us feel the freedom that we struggle to avoid. Let us drop the records we have on one another. Let us drop the records we have on ourselves.

I cannot be more sorry for my part in other's pain. But it is a price I cannot pay. Fortunately it has been paid for me. Ther is a cost(added benefit) to that freedom. I cannot hold on to the anger I have for others. Their price has been paid for as well. Here lies true freedom. Here lies what I forget every day.

This redemption allows us to stand in our garbage, inventory it, and learn from it. The hidden garbage doesn't crush us now. We don't have to avoid it. We don't have to hide it. We can deal with it.

Redeemed, but not perfect: Let us crawl into the garbage of our lives. Without the facade, in remarkable transparently, let our lives be forever changed by the experience. Let our lives can be cleansed by the experience.

Blessings to all, I am back.