I think I am addicted to unforgiveness. I cannot seem to let go of things. Especially my own short-comings. I re-read my posts on forgiveness from a month ago. They were great. But I have fallen right back into my old pattern.
First I re-read "Spoiling our view of the world" , then the prayer "the remaining records" , then I read that this morning's realization isn't a new one in "Un-forgiveness", Then I was reminded of "what Forgiveness is not"
Then I thought, "For someone who wrote so much about if, you sure do suck at it." And Now I am crying out to God to help me to forgive myself for putting myself and my family in this stressful situation. I am also crying out to him to help me forgive him also. So much has gone wrong and I wish he could have protected me. But, look where he has brought me. Where I wasn't before. On my knees praying for forgiveness and praying for help.
It is days like this that I love to remember the prayer of desperation and faith found in Mark 9:24 "I do believe, help thou my unbelief..."
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