Where, God, does this mistrust come from. Why, God, do I doubt. I do feel betrayed by promises of a life of ease. But you never made those promises. You never guaranteed anything that I am upset about. What have I not forgiven you for.
- the sickness that distroyed Shalom's body and mind.
- the grief and rejection I felt at the hands of my school mates.
-The betrayal within my family that lead to my parents separation.
- The student loans that did not come through to pay for the semester that I had to pay for so I could finish college with the scholarship I had earned.
- the deception of a christian Amway that wasted the time and money and credit I had left.
- my short failed marrage
- my back that disabled me
- my brother' the desparate dive into depression that lead to his death
- my son's autism
- the multiple failed relationships since.
- the un-timely fall that took my sisters life.
- my own inability to maintain my income ever since.
Lord, I have not felt protected or rescued from any of these life altering events. If you want me to forgive and trust and live, help me to see the truth of these events and show me how to forgive your part in them. Help me to trust you again. Help me to leave the bitterness for these events behind. I ask this in the name of your Son
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