Today was an exceptionally bad day. It was preceded by a couple of good days. But today stunk.
I think I am grieving what I gave to God....Grieving what I, now, know is not mine. Grieving who I wanted to be - and could never have been.
So earlier in the week I expressed some anger.... Not at anyone, just me and objects that could not tell or hit back (yes Lisa, your dog is safe ;) Then today, I hit profound sadness. (Kind of sounds like the middle stages of grief.....)
But All that, and I learned another lesson. (or the same lesson - another way). That it isn't good for me to multi-task. But take things one at a time... and do it well. - It seems to keep me in the moment.... were God is...
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I tried it out by first exercising. All I did was think about only what was there for me to do. Then I cleaned my kitchen - only doing that one thing - Then I fed the Dog - only paying attention to it - doing it well.... Then my friend Moe called. I almost hid - I almost didn't pick up. But I realized I needed to stay in the moment - and I enjoyed that conversation completely. It was different. I didn't feel rushed. Then I talked to my Dad. He wanted to pray. It was a really good thing...
Just a moment at a time. Deal with the fullness of this moment. Experience it completely.
You are right, and it is hard to do sometimes.
One day at a time
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