Purpose driven life?

I am sitting here wondering what to write again.

Perhaps I can say something that sounds epic.... "I have begun a process that I cannot live to finish.."

"I am hedged in. I cannot proceed until what is before me is dealt with. I doubt that I will out-live that process."

I am making myself chuckle. But I pause as I remember the words that initiated these grandiose words. A yet-to-be-published writer said, it is not a purpose-driven-life we should pursue, but a repentance-driven life.

A repentance driven life...!?

Could we live such a life? A life where we acknowledge our short comings; we shed the mask of success and deal authentically with one another. Is it thrilling or foolish? Is it effective?

Why would it be considered foolish? It doesn't make you feel good? It isn't capitalistic? It makes you appear weak? It invites criticism (which doesn't make you feel good)? It is hard to do? No one else is doing it? I have some pride left? I might do it once or twice, when I am feeling particularly down, but dwelling on it is degrading and would spoil my self-confidence?

A repentance driven life...How would that work? What would it require of you?

Perhaps It requires us to view our actions through another's eyes. Let's choose someone. ....! <smiling> I will push the button. How would God view our actions?

An escape of sleep is driving me away from considering all of this.

Before going, think of the word "effective." What are we trying to accomplish with this life - crystallized into one sentence....

Good grief, this process is going to take a long time.

It may never end.