I realized I can control only a few things. Those include: a) How kind I am; b) What actions I take; c) How respectful I am; d) Whom I forgive; e) What I think about; f) and in whom/what I place my trust.
This begged the question – What are the things I cannot control?
This list is a bit longer. Again, in no particular order: 1) Decisions of others; 2) Emotions of others – whom they love or trust; 3) Actions of others; 4) Location of others; 5) The words of others; 6) The Circumstances; 7) Market Conditions; 8) My own emotions; 9) Whom my heart loves; 10) Whom will break my heart.
Why is this important? Well, If I can't control something, then I should not worry about it. Worrying will do little and uses up too much time & energy. I can prepare for things: but worrying – takes to much of an emotional tool.
What will be will be, and I will be about only what I can control.
Here is a Mind Map I made on the subject
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| From smiles |
2 comments:
Just wondering why you have emotions in the "things I can't control" category?
Emotions are like clouds, You can't control when the arrive and when they leave. But you can control your response to them. And by controlling your response to them, you can control an emotions impact on you.
But emotions are like a Free Radical. They show up unexpectedly. If they are buried, they cause more damage. And if they are not allowed to drift on, they can be the source of Cacoethes.
Our emotions ebb and flow. One person described them a clouds that should be allowed to drift in and out of our lives. If the cloud stays, we need to address it.
A person can say they are controlling their emotions, but most likely they are controlling how they respond to their emotions and whether they are acknowledging those emotions.
If you don't acknowledge them, you are in Egypt... in a place called Denial (de nile)
For example, presently my emotions are ones of Sadness and anxiety. If I act as though they are not there, I may put on a good appearance, but in the long run, that would make the future emotional crash that much more devastating.
Deal with the emotions as they arrive, acknowledge them, that way they can move on. Facing painful emotions is vital to emotional health. Pretending that you can control them is a lie that gets so many people into trouble. (See my self medicating blog entry) You only gain control when you acknowledge that they are there and choose how to respond to them.
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