Sleep is closing fas

Sleep is closing fast

As I am dropping off to sleep, I wanted to relay/record a few thoughts....

The importance of the understanding that I expressed in my last post may have been understated. There are times in my life when I was SURE I was “hearing” God’s voice, when instead, clearly it was my own. (I am not talking about hallucinations or audible voices.. before you send the men in white coats.) This will make me now pause and reflect when, in a moment of seeming perfection, I believe I see clearly God’s will in my life. If it is his will, it will bear his fruit. (I hope M reads this)

It is interesting how seeking God’s perspective on things lends the degree of stability I desire. It breaks my heart to hear friend after friend act in Hypo-M moments, doing things that are devoid of reason and reflection. I then have to watch them cling to that poor decision as though they had read it in the Bible...What is sadder - is that I have done the same thing.

I am reminded of the Psychology department-head that monitored a simulated-patient session that I recently conducted. In her feed back she explained how it wasn’t the doctor’s job to convince the alcoholic that he had a problem. Their job was only to introduce the idea into the head of the patient that they may have a problem. The patient ultimately had to admit there is a problem before an effective treatment could be implemented. And in a resistant patient, it may take years before they arrive at that point of desperate conviction.

For me, it has taken years for me to realize that those life-altering loves that shook my life and then faded away, were nothing more than me clinging to the beautiful motivation of a hypo-M moment. So I choose to leave those memories in my past, forgiving the young ladies for not being who they never-could-have-been.

As I drift off – I am clinging to the hope that God will work all things together for his Good and that this life will bear fruit unimagined by me and unmistakably God’s.