Birds

Birds

The birds are singing especially loud this morning. With my window open, it sounds like winged traffic jam out there. They are not talking, not communicating, just yelling.

I am honestly, again, very disheartened at the progress that I am making. This could be just another example of me being ridiculously hard on myself. But then again, I do have voices that are supportive of this view point. (I just made myself laugh – don’t worry, the voices are NOT in my head. They are the real opinions of real people.)

A danger of being transparent is, when they use it against you, and they will, it can feel especially cruel. It makes me question my whole theory – the one that says transparency is better than secrecy and guardedness.

I think I am slipping back into a guarded state. I think I am dismissing the notion that, if I take the time to explain, then people would take the time to understand. But they don’t. They are like me. And we are like the birds were: All expressing our view, annoyed by the points where our lives are inconvenienced or disappointed by the lives of others.

The only safe person in my life is my son. What a gift he is.