Business of life

I am in the middle of a nothing place. There isn't much that is pleasing me. At least not in any exceptional way. No worries though. Life doesn't need to be thrilling. But when it has been (thrilling), and the dullness returns, the dullness is exceptionally dull.

I don't want to answer questions. I don't want to discuss me. I don't want to look at the mess I am in. (hey look, I am doing what I don't want to do!)

Escapes are useless. They don't provide anything lasting. When they have expired, they leave me here.

Mindmaps are at least storing & organizing the ideas I am understanding. I hope they will become a basis for a book. But only the discovery of new-to-me understandings are thrilling. Their application is less than thrilling. The adrenaline rush has passed and the business of life remains.

How do I make this life profitable again, without getting lost in the profit building.....