What we worship...
(this will be changed when I wake up and think, what the heck was I trying to write. For anyone interested, this is what the first draft of a post usually looks like.)
So, idols.... What is an Idol?
(Incomplete answers) people or things or Ideals that take up an inordinate and unhealthy amount our thoughts and time.
Worship – dwelling on, giving time to, holding up as exalted. Acknowledgement of value and position with Words and deeds.
What Idols are you worshiping?
I am having to rethink what my life has been based upon. What ideal has it actually been focused around. What pervasive plan did I pay attention to? Did I worship it? Did it become the idol of my life?
I say yes. But it wasn’t just women. It was the pursuit of an ideal woman to complete me. Too much became watered down due to this pursuit.
So, now, I must lay down forever these and attend to the creator, for whom I was created. (spooky sounding- must be a better way to communicate it.)
Looking for some feedback – This thoughts are very new and very rough.
5/28/2006
5/27/2006
The Prophetic Conclusion?
The Prophetic Conclusion
Re-Read the last words of my last Blog entry.....
So I am reading the book that my father recommended to me. I hope that if any of you read it, you are able to see it only as a cautionary-tale, not the allegorical-biography that I see it as.
Hosea
When I am able to grasp it better, I will write more about it. However, in a million different ways, I have been writing about it for years.
I will say this, Beware of what you put your trust in. Consider that the accomplishments/rewards of your life are not necessarily the proud-result of your efforts, but a gift; a gift that, if/when taken away, will leave you destitute. At that point you will find that your only option, toward hope, is God. When/if you then earnestly pursue him, you will find the source of those things which you had before. And those things that are truly important will, one day, be gifted again to you.
Welcome the hard times. Let them push you into those open arms of God.
Re-Read the last words of my last Blog entry.....
So I am reading the book that my father recommended to me. I hope that if any of you read it, you are able to see it only as a cautionary-tale, not the allegorical-biography that I see it as.
Hosea
When I am able to grasp it better, I will write more about it. However, in a million different ways, I have been writing about it for years.
I will say this, Beware of what you put your trust in. Consider that the accomplishments/rewards of your life are not necessarily the proud-result of your efforts, but a gift; a gift that, if/when taken away, will leave you destitute. At that point you will find that your only option, toward hope, is God. When/if you then earnestly pursue him, you will find the source of those things which you had before. And those things that are truly important will, one day, be gifted again to you.
Welcome the hard times. Let them push you into those open arms of God.
5/26/2006
Zig
Zig
Zig Ziggler has an amazing way of making it sound easy. I heard him on the radio talking about marriage. He said something to the effect that 100% of the happily married men, that he had ever met - were faithful to their wives. He then went on to point out that you always find what you are looking for. If you are looking for the positives of your spouse, you will find them. If you are looking for their shortcomings, you will find those too. You get what you put into it.
I think we can expand this to most everyone. Now, I know, I usually don’t pursue such “positive thinking” thought-trails. But, this one tickled my interest: this, on a day when my father came to me expressing the beginning of his discovery-of-responsibility. May the trip be long and fruitful.
It reminds me of several verses. Titus 1:15 – “(a)To the pure, all things are pure; (b)but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.” And then Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Frankly, as I sit here, I realize how annoying these verses are to me. (haha- I guess this really puts me in the second classification of Titus 1:15 (b)– Sigh) Maybe it is because almost no one looks upon me for a long time and continues to see the good and wonderful parts. (And if they do, well, I feel confident I will eventually prove them wrong.) Yet, in the same breath, I must admit, I never look at them with that eye either. How can I see all these things when I am busy protecting myself from their human-ness.
Perhaps, as a wounded animal, still yet-to-be-whole, I have been looking to people for my appreciation, support, and affection. As they are incapable of being the inexhaustible-source, my heart has hardened toward them. Perhaps, when I become separate, unique, and whole, I won’t be dependant upon them for such gifts. Then, being fully satisfied, I will be appreciative of what they can give, instead of looking at what they cannot. Then, having shed my tick-like existence, I will experience people without fear or defensiveness. I will not be looking to them for anything. So, I, being un-needy, with no expectations, having fully forgiven them, seeing them without my judgment – I will finally see them for who they are. And because I am un-injured by the bad, I will be able to focus on the contents of Phil 4:8 in their life.
Yes Zig, you are right. However, we must first become unique, separate and whole, as living stones (I Peter 2:5). Then we will have the ability to see the pure within people, without fearing their defiledness. No Happy-Horse-Poo is going to make you able to see what your heart is hardened against. The most his message can hope to accomplish is to further define how short we come to that ideal. (Oh that I could get every reader to see this) And as such, it should drive us to cling harder to the only-known-source of that purity. Join me! I will meet you there...at the foot of the cross.
(I think I could become a great Fire and Brimstone Preacher – ‘Cept my message would be “Welcome the FIRE AND THE BRIMSTONE, for it will to force you into the OPEN ARMS OF GOD.”
What do you think?
Zig Ziggler has an amazing way of making it sound easy. I heard him on the radio talking about marriage. He said something to the effect that 100% of the happily married men, that he had ever met - were faithful to their wives. He then went on to point out that you always find what you are looking for. If you are looking for the positives of your spouse, you will find them. If you are looking for their shortcomings, you will find those too. You get what you put into it.
I think we can expand this to most everyone. Now, I know, I usually don’t pursue such “positive thinking” thought-trails. But, this one tickled my interest: this, on a day when my father came to me expressing the beginning of his discovery-of-responsibility. May the trip be long and fruitful.
It reminds me of several verses. Titus 1:15 – “(a)To the pure, all things are pure; (b)but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.” And then Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Frankly, as I sit here, I realize how annoying these verses are to me. (haha- I guess this really puts me in the second classification of Titus 1:15 (b)– Sigh) Maybe it is because almost no one looks upon me for a long time and continues to see the good and wonderful parts. (And if they do, well, I feel confident I will eventually prove them wrong.) Yet, in the same breath, I must admit, I never look at them with that eye either. How can I see all these things when I am busy protecting myself from their human-ness.
Perhaps, as a wounded animal, still yet-to-be-whole, I have been looking to people for my appreciation, support, and affection. As they are incapable of being the inexhaustible-source, my heart has hardened toward them. Perhaps, when I become separate, unique, and whole, I won’t be dependant upon them for such gifts. Then, being fully satisfied, I will be appreciative of what they can give, instead of looking at what they cannot. Then, having shed my tick-like existence, I will experience people without fear or defensiveness. I will not be looking to them for anything. So, I, being un-needy, with no expectations, having fully forgiven them, seeing them without my judgment – I will finally see them for who they are. And because I am un-injured by the bad, I will be able to focus on the contents of Phil 4:8 in their life.
Yes Zig, you are right. However, we must first become unique, separate and whole, as living stones (I Peter 2:5). Then we will have the ability to see the pure within people, without fearing their defiledness. No Happy-Horse-Poo is going to make you able to see what your heart is hardened against. The most his message can hope to accomplish is to further define how short we come to that ideal. (Oh that I could get every reader to see this) And as such, it should drive us to cling harder to the only-known-source of that purity. Join me! I will meet you there...at the foot of the cross.
(I think I could become a great Fire and Brimstone Preacher – ‘Cept my message would be “Welcome the FIRE AND THE BRIMSTONE, for it will to force you into the OPEN ARMS OF GOD.”
What do you think?
5/25/2006
RRRR
RRRR
It is amazing how poorly I get along with my ex-wife. Simply amazing. She effectively shuts down any communication, and then gets mad because I’m not where she wants me to be at her undisclosed time. You know what, Instead of this frustration head ache, I am going to accept that there are things I can do NOTHING about. Leave them in God’s hands and move on.
I am struggling severely with forgiveness right now. I know I have written about it, but God, it is hard to do. I listed 15 people that I am genuinely upset with. It hurts to have to forgive... but I guess that is because I have not forgiven yet.
Help God!!! Help me let go of the million different ways that people have insulted, disregarded, manipulated, accused, berated, lied, misrepresented, and ignored me. Lord, they only impact me because I have not let them Go. I cannot do it. I need your help. HELP!
It is amazing how poorly I get along with my ex-wife. Simply amazing. She effectively shuts down any communication, and then gets mad because I’m not where she wants me to be at her undisclosed time. You know what, Instead of this frustration head ache, I am going to accept that there are things I can do NOTHING about. Leave them in God’s hands and move on.
I am struggling severely with forgiveness right now. I know I have written about it, but God, it is hard to do. I listed 15 people that I am genuinely upset with. It hurts to have to forgive... but I guess that is because I have not forgiven yet.
Help God!!! Help me let go of the million different ways that people have insulted, disregarded, manipulated, accused, berated, lied, misrepresented, and ignored me. Lord, they only impact me because I have not let them Go. I cannot do it. I need your help. HELP!
Updated Ticks and Wounded Animals
Ticks and Wounded Animals (UPDATED)
Separate, Unique, and Whole - That is what Everyone need to become. In this state, we do not look for another to define us. We do not look to others for validation. We look only within ourselves, and ultimately, to our God.
By Separate, I mean independent of other’s. Unique means being fully ourselves. And whole means existing in a healthy non-addicted, sober, wholesome state.
When you are not in this state, you are probably a form of a Tick, or Wounded animal.
A tick is someone who feeds, in some way, off other people. A tick is a “needy” person. They use people to get something they need. Often, once they have burrowed into the life of a host, they are very hard to get out. When two ticks find each other, they suck off each other until neither has anything left. A tick never fully appreciates what they are getting from that person (until they have lost them.) Some sub-species of Ticks have perfected leaving before they get plucked out. Then they simply unconsciously move onto the willing host they can find. Others are not smart enough to get out before they are squeezed and expunged. In general, we all are some form of a tick. It is not healthy, but it is true. When we don’t have enough inside of us to fulfill us, we look to someone else to do that for us. Here is a test: Are the lives of those around you uplifted and encouraged and actualized by you? Or do you find yourself frustrated that you are not getting what you want from those people? So, how often you go “Ticking”...?
A Host is someone who allows Ticks to endlessly suck from them. They are the Co-Dependant person who accommodates dysfunctional people. They are enablers. In truth, they are simply another form of a Tick. They are getting the attention they crave, even though it is sucking them dry. It is surprising what we will accommodate to get something we need.
I know, this analogy is not perfect (no analogy is). But it serves to illuminate for us the-whom and the-what we are seeking to fulfill our needs. In a perfect world, with perfect people, we would look to the Endless Source for the Actualizing-Interaction that we all crave. But we are hardly perfect and most of us are Wounded Animals, in desperate need of some aid and comfort. We either medicate ourselves (legally or illegally), or we go “Ticking”; each temporarily sooths the longings and pains that we feel. We forget that at those moments of “To-HARD” we are to look to God, not the most available host. (See 1 Peter 1&2)
In 1st Peter it describes us a living stones that should support each other as we create a holy place built on God’s Purposes, not our own. A living stone is Separate, unique, and whole. It is supported by other’s who, also, are placing their hope and trust on the only foundation that will adequately support us. But that foundation will not support our goals and dreams. No, that is why the “builders” rejected it. This is only good for one thing. And it is not tick-ing. It is a life that re-presents God. Lives built on this foundation will pluck out ticks and attempt to introduce them to the Endless source. It is the only source that Heals and Forgives, allowing us to become Unique, separate, and whole.
As a wounded Animal and occasional “Ticker,” have realized that I have to cut off the ticking activities in my life. I am doing no one any good. My only option it to draw closer to the source I spoke of. No person can ever fulfill the Idealized expectations that I create. I am encouraged though. As parts of me heal, I am able to touch others. And as they begin to try to make me a host, I can easily re-introduce them to the source that I know to look to.
It is nice when I am not a Tick or a Host. Perhaps, once I am no longer a wounded animal... Well... all of that will come in God’s good time.
Separate, Unique, and Whole - That is what Everyone need to become. In this state, we do not look for another to define us. We do not look to others for validation. We look only within ourselves, and ultimately, to our God.
By Separate, I mean independent of other’s. Unique means being fully ourselves. And whole means existing in a healthy non-addicted, sober, wholesome state.
When you are not in this state, you are probably a form of a Tick, or Wounded animal.
A tick is someone who feeds, in some way, off other people. A tick is a “needy” person. They use people to get something they need. Often, once they have burrowed into the life of a host, they are very hard to get out. When two ticks find each other, they suck off each other until neither has anything left. A tick never fully appreciates what they are getting from that person (until they have lost them.) Some sub-species of Ticks have perfected leaving before they get plucked out. Then they simply unconsciously move onto the willing host they can find. Others are not smart enough to get out before they are squeezed and expunged. In general, we all are some form of a tick. It is not healthy, but it is true. When we don’t have enough inside of us to fulfill us, we look to someone else to do that for us. Here is a test: Are the lives of those around you uplifted and encouraged and actualized by you? Or do you find yourself frustrated that you are not getting what you want from those people? So, how often you go “Ticking”...?
A Host is someone who allows Ticks to endlessly suck from them. They are the Co-Dependant person who accommodates dysfunctional people. They are enablers. In truth, they are simply another form of a Tick. They are getting the attention they crave, even though it is sucking them dry. It is surprising what we will accommodate to get something we need.
I know, this analogy is not perfect (no analogy is). But it serves to illuminate for us the-whom and the-what we are seeking to fulfill our needs. In a perfect world, with perfect people, we would look to the Endless Source for the Actualizing-Interaction that we all crave. But we are hardly perfect and most of us are Wounded Animals, in desperate need of some aid and comfort. We either medicate ourselves (legally or illegally), or we go “Ticking”; each temporarily sooths the longings and pains that we feel. We forget that at those moments of “To-HARD” we are to look to God, not the most available host. (See 1 Peter 1&2)
In 1st Peter it describes us a living stones that should support each other as we create a holy place built on God’s Purposes, not our own. A living stone is Separate, unique, and whole. It is supported by other’s who, also, are placing their hope and trust on the only foundation that will adequately support us. But that foundation will not support our goals and dreams. No, that is why the “builders” rejected it. This is only good for one thing. And it is not tick-ing. It is a life that re-presents God. Lives built on this foundation will pluck out ticks and attempt to introduce them to the Endless source. It is the only source that Heals and Forgives, allowing us to become Unique, separate, and whole.
As a wounded Animal and occasional “Ticker,” have realized that I have to cut off the ticking activities in my life. I am doing no one any good. My only option it to draw closer to the source I spoke of. No person can ever fulfill the Idealized expectations that I create. I am encouraged though. As parts of me heal, I am able to touch others. And as they begin to try to make me a host, I can easily re-introduce them to the source that I know to look to.
It is nice when I am not a Tick or a Host. Perhaps, once I am no longer a wounded animal... Well... all of that will come in God’s good time.
5/24/2006
Ticks and Wounded An
Ticks and Wounded Animals
Separate, Unique, and Whole - That is what we need to become. Everyone needs to become. For in this state, we do not look for another to define us. We do not look to others for validation. We look only within ourselves, and if we are smart, to our God.
By Separate, I mean independent of other’s. Unique means being fully ourselves. And whole means existing in a healthy non-addicted, sober, wholesome state.
When you are not in this state, you are probably some form of either a Tick, or a wounded animal.
The Tick looks for others to feed on. Others who can give them something they need. Something they don’t have. A sense of accomplishment, pride, stability, love, desire... feel free to expand. They are the woman who can’t live without a man. They are the man with the wandering eye. They are the cheaters, stealers, and white-liars. They are anyone who needs someone else to fulfill some self-centered yet justifiable desire.
The wounded Animal is a different, because they are wounded and cannot survive without their subjects. Approach them wrong, and you’ll have the scars to remember it. They have been injured or hurt, and they can’t run and walk and play they way others can. They may self medicate. They hobble around hiding their pain. And heaven help you if you corner them. They will take your arm off.
Alright. Check back. I have a lot more to say about this.
Separate, Unique, and Whole - That is what we need to become. Everyone needs to become. For in this state, we do not look for another to define us. We do not look to others for validation. We look only within ourselves, and if we are smart, to our God.
By Separate, I mean independent of other’s. Unique means being fully ourselves. And whole means existing in a healthy non-addicted, sober, wholesome state.
When you are not in this state, you are probably some form of either a Tick, or a wounded animal.
The Tick looks for others to feed on. Others who can give them something they need. Something they don’t have. A sense of accomplishment, pride, stability, love, desire... feel free to expand. They are the woman who can’t live without a man. They are the man with the wandering eye. They are the cheaters, stealers, and white-liars. They are anyone who needs someone else to fulfill some self-centered yet justifiable desire.
The wounded Animal is a different, because they are wounded and cannot survive without their subjects. Approach them wrong, and you’ll have the scars to remember it. They have been injured or hurt, and they can’t run and walk and play they way others can. They may self medicate. They hobble around hiding their pain. And heaven help you if you corner them. They will take your arm off.
Alright. Check back. I have a lot more to say about this.
5/22/2006
What we Cling To
What we Cling To...
How strong are your moments of energy and/or drive and/or clarity?
Let’s measure it with some questions... How do you feel when you feel Love...or lust? Did you feel an excitement that takes your breath away? Does your mind create a million different pictures of how it could/would be? What silent-expectations form in your mind? Did you fool yourself into believing that you are just enjoying the moment – or are you enjoying how those moments could affect your future?
I ask about Love/lust to illustrate to everyone what I mean by a Hypo-M Moment. 95% of us must have them (reference the Bell Curve). They are the emotion filled events that often drive our decisions. Please don’t tell me you haven’t felt the surge of energy when you see something you want, or when you are protecting something, or when you suddenly feel free of your constraining anxieties. Yes, in varying degrees, we all have these moments. Admittedly, each of us presents them in different circumstances with different triggers. At the right times, and under necessary circumstances, Hypo-M moments are very beneficial. However, I would like to discuss some of the dangers of that state.
We often hold onto our Hypo-M decisions or understandings or incites as though they are infallible and above contestation. We unconsciously cling to that decision with amazingly-creative justifications. All so we can cling to that moment of living-brilliance. We are “physiologically” divorced from an awareness of the negatives attached to that decision. Our emotions have clouded our judgment.
The hypo-M state allows us to make decisions that are foolhardy and potentially dangerous. (witness the hero running into a burning building) How many marriages are wrecks because someone thought they could cheat without consequence? How many hearts are wounded by the one night stand – Where a moment-of-brilliance met a person-of-opportunity? How many “loves-of-a-lifetime” have been lost because each could not sustain their Hypo-M state to live up to each other’s expectations? How many shopping-trips-to-solve-a-desire did it take before a person’s finances are in ruin? How many kids remember their parent’s unreasonable-anger over inane things?
My friend, the problem is not someone else. It is us, and the Hypo-M point that we are allowing to oft-influence our decisions. We misuse/abuse ourselves and others by driving for something, refusing to regard the obstacles and consequences of our actions. No wonder our heart breaks when we realize we cannot have things as we imagined.
I think a good first step is for us to get a good measure of how strong our ups and downs are. Once we have an HONEST picture of them (for me, it has taken months) THEN, we should take inventory of the decisions and convictions we came to in those states. Can we, with a sober eye, turn away from what is blinding us?
We may be surprised at the foolishness we are clinging to... I know I am.
(BTW – I am still struggling to come up with a succinct picture of a Hypo-M moment. – Any suggestions????)
How strong are your moments of energy and/or drive and/or clarity?
Let’s measure it with some questions... How do you feel when you feel Love...or lust? Did you feel an excitement that takes your breath away? Does your mind create a million different pictures of how it could/would be? What silent-expectations form in your mind? Did you fool yourself into believing that you are just enjoying the moment – or are you enjoying how those moments could affect your future?
I ask about Love/lust to illustrate to everyone what I mean by a Hypo-M Moment. 95% of us must have them (reference the Bell Curve). They are the emotion filled events that often drive our decisions. Please don’t tell me you haven’t felt the surge of energy when you see something you want, or when you are protecting something, or when you suddenly feel free of your constraining anxieties. Yes, in varying degrees, we all have these moments. Admittedly, each of us presents them in different circumstances with different triggers. At the right times, and under necessary circumstances, Hypo-M moments are very beneficial. However, I would like to discuss some of the dangers of that state.
We often hold onto our Hypo-M decisions or understandings or incites as though they are infallible and above contestation. We unconsciously cling to that decision with amazingly-creative justifications. All so we can cling to that moment of living-brilliance. We are “physiologically” divorced from an awareness of the negatives attached to that decision. Our emotions have clouded our judgment.
The hypo-M state allows us to make decisions that are foolhardy and potentially dangerous. (witness the hero running into a burning building) How many marriages are wrecks because someone thought they could cheat without consequence? How many hearts are wounded by the one night stand – Where a moment-of-brilliance met a person-of-opportunity? How many “loves-of-a-lifetime” have been lost because each could not sustain their Hypo-M state to live up to each other’s expectations? How many shopping-trips-to-solve-a-desire did it take before a person’s finances are in ruin? How many kids remember their parent’s unreasonable-anger over inane things?
My friend, the problem is not someone else. It is us, and the Hypo-M point that we are allowing to oft-influence our decisions. We misuse/abuse ourselves and others by driving for something, refusing to regard the obstacles and consequences of our actions. No wonder our heart breaks when we realize we cannot have things as we imagined.
I think a good first step is for us to get a good measure of how strong our ups and downs are. Once we have an HONEST picture of them (for me, it has taken months) THEN, we should take inventory of the decisions and convictions we came to in those states. Can we, with a sober eye, turn away from what is blinding us?
We may be surprised at the foolishness we are clinging to... I know I am.
(BTW – I am still struggling to come up with a succinct picture of a Hypo-M moment. – Any suggestions????)
5/20/2006
Simple Saturday
Simple Saturday
Well, Almost...
Adam (son) and I had a wonderfully quiet morning. We did next to nothing. It was great. We did finally manage to drag ourselves out for a long promised Cheeseburger and fries. Afterwards we visited some friends, where Adam had a young boy to play with. He did well, until later in the evening. Then he defiantly wanted to play by himself.
Well, that is when a Dad has to be a Father. He had to learn what appropriate behavior is when he is a guest. This is the part of being a Dad that really ... sucks. The short story is, when Adam became defiant and I counted out (1,2,3). At three, he looses something. Tonight it was his TV and computer rights for the evening. This hits him pretty hard. He then started an earnest attempt to show Dad that he was not defiant... however; at that point, I had given my word and had to preserve my credibility with him. I had to stick by it so that he would never want to let it get to that stage again. If I didn’t, the danger is he would intuitively know that he can be defiant and still weasel out of the consequences. I don’t want him to learn THAT lesson. So instead, we suffered through a tearfully sad ride home. I gave him some distance for 15 minutes and then called him up to his room. We talked about when and where he could get his TV/Computer/Gameboy rights back. I also made it clear that Adam had to be happy Adam, not Mad Adam. Then the rest of the time before bed, he sat next to me and touched my hair and face.
There is a point where disciplining a child is so very difficult. But it is at that point that a parent decides whether they want to be liked (and manipulate-able) or Steady and Trust worthy. I don’t think there is a more important gift you can give them than being a parent they CAN completely trust and respect.
I think I will write more on this.....
Well, Almost...
Adam (son) and I had a wonderfully quiet morning. We did next to nothing. It was great. We did finally manage to drag ourselves out for a long promised Cheeseburger and fries. Afterwards we visited some friends, where Adam had a young boy to play with. He did well, until later in the evening. Then he defiantly wanted to play by himself.
Well, that is when a Dad has to be a Father. He had to learn what appropriate behavior is when he is a guest. This is the part of being a Dad that really ... sucks. The short story is, when Adam became defiant and I counted out (1,2,3). At three, he looses something. Tonight it was his TV and computer rights for the evening. This hits him pretty hard. He then started an earnest attempt to show Dad that he was not defiant... however; at that point, I had given my word and had to preserve my credibility with him. I had to stick by it so that he would never want to let it get to that stage again. If I didn’t, the danger is he would intuitively know that he can be defiant and still weasel out of the consequences. I don’t want him to learn THAT lesson. So instead, we suffered through a tearfully sad ride home. I gave him some distance for 15 minutes and then called him up to his room. We talked about when and where he could get his TV/Computer/Gameboy rights back. I also made it clear that Adam had to be happy Adam, not Mad Adam. Then the rest of the time before bed, he sat next to me and touched my hair and face.
There is a point where disciplining a child is so very difficult. But it is at that point that a parent decides whether they want to be liked (and manipulate-able) or Steady and Trust worthy. I don’t think there is a more important gift you can give them than being a parent they CAN completely trust and respect.
I think I will write more on this.....
5/19/2006
Sleep is closing fas
Sleep is closing fast
As I am dropping off to sleep, I wanted to relay/record a few thoughts....
The importance of the understanding that I expressed in my last post may have been understated. There are times in my life when I was SURE I was “hearing” God’s voice, when instead, clearly it was my own. (I am not talking about hallucinations or audible voices.. before you send the men in white coats.) This will make me now pause and reflect when, in a moment of seeming perfection, I believe I see clearly God’s will in my life. If it is his will, it will bear his fruit. (I hope M reads this)
It is interesting how seeking God’s perspective on things lends the degree of stability I desire. It breaks my heart to hear friend after friend act in Hypo-M moments, doing things that are devoid of reason and reflection. I then have to watch them cling to that poor decision as though they had read it in the Bible...What is sadder - is that I have done the same thing.
I am reminded of the Psychology department-head that monitored a simulated-patient session that I recently conducted. In her feed back she explained how it wasn’t the doctor’s job to convince the alcoholic that he had a problem. Their job was only to introduce the idea into the head of the patient that they may have a problem. The patient ultimately had to admit there is a problem before an effective treatment could be implemented. And in a resistant patient, it may take years before they arrive at that point of desperate conviction.
For me, it has taken years for me to realize that those life-altering loves that shook my life and then faded away, were nothing more than me clinging to the beautiful motivation of a hypo-M moment. So I choose to leave those memories in my past, forgiving the young ladies for not being who they never-could-have-been.
As I drift off – I am clinging to the hope that God will work all things together for his Good and that this life will bear fruit unimagined by me and unmistakably God’s.
As I am dropping off to sleep, I wanted to relay/record a few thoughts....
The importance of the understanding that I expressed in my last post may have been understated. There are times in my life when I was SURE I was “hearing” God’s voice, when instead, clearly it was my own. (I am not talking about hallucinations or audible voices.. before you send the men in white coats.) This will make me now pause and reflect when, in a moment of seeming perfection, I believe I see clearly God’s will in my life. If it is his will, it will bear his fruit. (I hope M reads this)
It is interesting how seeking God’s perspective on things lends the degree of stability I desire. It breaks my heart to hear friend after friend act in Hypo-M moments, doing things that are devoid of reason and reflection. I then have to watch them cling to that poor decision as though they had read it in the Bible...What is sadder - is that I have done the same thing.
I am reminded of the Psychology department-head that monitored a simulated-patient session that I recently conducted. In her feed back she explained how it wasn’t the doctor’s job to convince the alcoholic that he had a problem. Their job was only to introduce the idea into the head of the patient that they may have a problem. The patient ultimately had to admit there is a problem before an effective treatment could be implemented. And in a resistant patient, it may take years before they arrive at that point of desperate conviction.
For me, it has taken years for me to realize that those life-altering loves that shook my life and then faded away, were nothing more than me clinging to the beautiful motivation of a hypo-M moment. So I choose to leave those memories in my past, forgiving the young ladies for not being who they never-could-have-been.
As I drift off – I am clinging to the hope that God will work all things together for his Good and that this life will bear fruit unimagined by me and unmistakably God’s.
5/18/2006
Everyone in the same box
Everyone in the same Box!
Well, if it is big enough, we all could get in.
We all cycle through ups and downs. Our ups are various degrees of something called Hypomania (Less than or lower than clinical Mania). Our Cycle’s severity places us somewhere on the spectrum between Uni-polar and Bipolar activity.
The Question is....Where are you? (Beware of Cognitive Dissonance - my definition: ignoring facts that spoil your chosen perspective)
Everyone lands at some point along the spectrum. My assumption, based on life experience, is that the majority of us land somewhere in the middle. So let u’s redefine normal.
For us in the right side of that spectrum, we might want to question conclusions we come to in our Hypo-M state (Yes, I coined that term – (def) a bit less that clinically treatable mania and Hypomania).
You see, in the Hypo-M state, we are under the influence of a remarkable hormone called Epinephrine – or Adrenaline. Under its influence, we experience a remarkable clarity that the unusual uni-polar-logical person would never experience. In short, stupidity seems acceptable, logical or do-able. In that divorced-from-logic, we can get ourselves into amazingly dysfunctional situations.
EDIT: I just stumbed across a site that said that the entire spectrum of Duel-polar people accounts for 2% of the population.... Then why is it that I can talk to most anyone and find a hypo-M moment?? Well, because the web site is wrong. We all have ups and downs. We all feel the brilliance that accompanies our hypo-M moments. They (the shrinks) don't see our level of Hypomania as problematic.... ie - We don't need to be medicated. That doesn't mean that those moments don't need our closer consideration.
Also, because most people see themselves as the person they are in their Hypo-M Moments, It is VERY hard for them (me) to admit they are a problematic anomaly (Cognitive Dissonance again... )
Well, if it is big enough, we all could get in.
We all cycle through ups and downs. Our ups are various degrees of something called Hypomania (Less than or lower than clinical Mania). Our Cycle’s severity places us somewhere on the spectrum between Uni-polar and Bipolar activity.
The Question is....Where are you? (Beware of Cognitive Dissonance - my definition: ignoring facts that spoil your chosen perspective)
Everyone lands at some point along the spectrum. My assumption, based on life experience, is that the majority of us land somewhere in the middle. So let u’s redefine normal.
For us in the right side of that spectrum, we might want to question conclusions we come to in our Hypo-M state (Yes, I coined that term – (def) a bit less that clinically treatable mania and Hypomania).
You see, in the Hypo-M state, we are under the influence of a remarkable hormone called Epinephrine – or Adrenaline. Under its influence, we experience a remarkable clarity that the unusual uni-polar-logical person would never experience. In short, stupidity seems acceptable, logical or do-able. In that divorced-from-logic, we can get ourselves into amazingly dysfunctional situations.
EDIT: I just stumbed across a site that said that the entire spectrum of Duel-polar people accounts for 2% of the population.... Then why is it that I can talk to most anyone and find a hypo-M moment?? Well, because the web site is wrong. We all have ups and downs. We all feel the brilliance that accompanies our hypo-M moments. They (the shrinks) don't see our level of Hypomania as problematic.... ie - We don't need to be medicated. That doesn't mean that those moments don't need our closer consideration.
Also, because most people see themselves as the person they are in their Hypo-M Moments, It is VERY hard for them (me) to admit they are a problematic anomaly (Cognitive Dissonance again... )
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