Are we Growing?

What we struggle with most is what we eventually learn the most about.

Our natural talents don't require repeated review of what we have learned. In them, we are unconsciously competent. But as we become consciouses of our incompetence, humility, willingness to admit imperfection, opens our lives to growth.

I find purpose in working though the difficult areas of my life, learning as I strive to improve and grow. I see my failings as markers that show me what I can expect God to address next in my life. I see my struggles as my teachers. They are shaping me for HIS purpose. That belief feeds my hope, because I trust his words, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jer 29:11
"143 - 7"

The Redemption of Hope, born of love, fed by forgiveness and faith.

Where there is love, there is hope. Where there is forgiveness, love can grow. Faith (trust) gives us the freedom to explore both. Bitterness snuffs out faith. Bitterness comes from a poor memory. We forget what we were forgiven of. We forget that when we love God, and are thus called according to his purposes (faith), that he causes all these things to work together for good. "All" includes the things we are bitter about. "All" includes the things we have yet to forgive. "All" includes what we have done to ourselves. Yes, all things work together for good to those who love God. That faith gives personal purpose to the ups and downs of life's journey.

So, can you let go of your bitterness? Can you forgive...


even yourself?


Faith will let you.


Let go and trust....

What we own

I have started something new. I started a budget.

It is Dave Ramsey's fault. He actually came up with a budget system that works through the insanity of irregular income. If you have the slightest inclination, immerse yourself in what he teaches.

I won't try to re-teach it.

As I watch my perspective on money change, I realize how universal the truths are that I am learning. I have written about a few of them before, but I never knew how to apply them to money....or truthfully, to moment-by-moment life.

CS Lewis cracked my shell when he wrote that we actually own nothing. He used a child crying out "mine" as an example. No child, it isn't actually yours. You can use if for a time, but it isn't yours. It is all temporary. We experience an illusion of permanence. Saying it is "mine" doesn't acknowledge that you will one day have to let it go.

It goes beyond "things." It extends to relationships, dreams, plans, promises, and life itself. None of it can we keep. It will all come and go... eventually it all becomes dust.

So, with a budget I began to understand the travels that money makes in my life and needs it addresses. Making less money than I have ever made, I have discovered I can somewhat manage the flow of money. Now I am beginning to see what I am putting my faith in. Who's money is it actually?

Well, it isn't mine. If flows in and out of my life ceaselessly. Clinging to it does me no good. Directing its flow shows me whom I am trusting.

Tithing was almost an impossible step for me. But I have started, Now, I see the need of a loved one, and as much as I want to cling to my newly saved funds, I know it isn't mine anyway. I can actually trust God and direct His money to where he sees fit.

It's not mine. I own none of it. And I know he will take care of me, through provisions I cannot imagine to foresee.

BTW - I have some cool stuff for sale!

Standing in our Garbage

Sometimes a higher degree of transparency is a painful thing.

It gives people a chance to judge you. It exposes you to their approval and disapproval. They form an opinion from their limited view into your life. They make vast (incorrect) assumptions, based on their life experiences, about your deepest motives.

It is a small wonder that the bible says, "who can know the heart of man." Who can know another's essence? Who can understand their own?

So, craving the attention and approval of others, we construct a facade portraying whom we want to be.

Ah, to be loved for only who we are. To be loved for our essence. It's the misunderstood-grace afforded us by the "great sacrifice." It is what Jesus expressed as he saved the woman from her stoning. The price has been paid for what other's so gratuitously judge. The price has been paid for the faults we struggle and adjust to hide.

No, the hurts we cause are real. The result of our integrity flaws, pursuits of pleasure, and attempts to numb our unexpressed pain may haunt us as long as we live.

But there is a freedom available: A wonderful gift, accessable continuously and in a moments reflection. We can, in that moment, choose to accept the redemption of the great sacrifice. We can lay those burdens down. We can walk in freedom, despite the our past and the inaccurate/accurate definitions placed on us.

Lord, let us feel the freedom that we struggle to avoid. Let us drop the records we have on one another. Let us drop the records we have on ourselves.

I cannot be more sorry for my part in other's pain. But it is a price I cannot pay. Fortunately it has been paid for me. Ther is a cost(added benefit) to that freedom. I cannot hold on to the anger I have for others. Their price has been paid for as well. Here lies true freedom. Here lies what I forget every day.

This redemption allows us to stand in our garbage, inventory it, and learn from it. The hidden garbage doesn't crush us now. We don't have to avoid it. We don't have to hide it. We can deal with it.

Redeemed, but not perfect: Let us crawl into the garbage of our lives. Without the facade, in remarkable transparently, let our lives be forever changed by the experience. Let our lives can be cleansed by the experience.

Blessings to all, I am back.